I dance Pro Am and am finding myself developing feelings for my male dance teacher. We spend a lot of time together and dance is by nature intimate and it's hard not to feel something. Has anyone experienced the same issue? Thank you

If one is not careful one can easily get sucked in by the allusion. Working often to get ready for competition you need to keep in mind what is the romantic allusion of the dance, what is shtick from the instructor to keep his student in the moment of the number, and what he does to keep the girls interested in coming back for more lessons. They all do it to some degree. I paid for it when I went to Arthur Murrys when I lost all confidence in my dancing ability years ago. They all dripped the gewy "how happy I was there" yada yada yada - every time I walked through the door. I was always amazed at how so many of the students drank this shtick down as real. Use the good feeling it gives you for your performance, but don't swallow the punch.

How much do you really know about him? Does he have a wife, girlfriend or boyfriend? I have seen some student/teacher relationships work and some where the pro has recoiled in horror and the student has left feeling stupid and miserable. One woman in our studio misunderstood the pro's friendliness to mean more than it did and she asked him out. He was completely shocked, said no, and she left crying. He felt terrible. Are you willing to risk a good dance relationship? You might have to change studios if things don't go well.

I don't want to sound jaded because some dance relationships work out. I know it is possible that he has feelings. I have to say really listen to the other two ladies. The chains are famous for making people think there is a budding relationship....that is how they make money. Many independent pros started there and it is just part of what they know and how they behave. It is intimate too and it is easy to get confused.

So the little test you can run is simple without risking your own feelings or any embarrassment. A guy who truly has feelings for you will be worried more about what you need and making you happy then making a ton of cash off of you. So when he tries to sell you the next package pay attention to who he is really looking after, you or his pocketbook (studio's best interest). If he blatantly takes you for as much cash as he can he doesn't care about you. Remember also objectivity because you may not want to admit the truth because you do have feelings. If you find yourself making excuses for why what he is doing is okay then you have a problem. Even if he does have feelings for you would you want to be someone who is willing to do whatever it takes and say whatever it takes to get to your wallet? I know that's not who I want to date.